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Love Yourself First

​There’s so much (self placed) pressure on us to be the Best. The best Mum, Wife, Employee, Friend and every other role we take on, that it’s no surprise so many women feel constantly knackered. Burnt out, exhausted and stressed. I was one of these women for a very very long time. Feeling guilty if I dared suggest that I was going to have some ‘me time’. A long hot soak in the bath or some retail therapy for example. Or god forbid a trip to a coffee shop for a Hot Chocolate and a few chapters of a good book.

And not because my husband didn’t allow me to have some ‘me time’. Quite the opposite actually. He encouraged it. But I felt so awful suggesting it, that I was somehow not being a ‘good’ mum or a good ‘wife’ if I wasn’t thinking about them or doing something to ‘help’ them every waking second, that relaxing baths and Hot Chocolate trips were reserved for my Birthday and Mother’s Day.


It wasn’t until I started learning about mindset and personal development after taking an online Happiness Course that my eyes were opened to the negative effects of NOT taking regular time for self love and care. What became very obvious was that I was not ACTUALLY fulfilling any of my roles (wife, mother, employee, friend) very well as I was so stressed and worn out all the time. Resenting my husband because ‘all I do is go to work, look after our daughter and cook dinner’ but then declining when he suggested I go and have a bath with a good book because ‘I have too much to do’ (poor guy couldn’t win right?!).

So with Valentine’s Day approaching, and the pressure that will undoubtedly show up for you, to be the very best wife/girlfriend/partner….I encourage you to, this time, love yourself first.

Take some time to really truly relax. Whatever that looks like for you. Whether that’s a long hot soak in the bath, an early night with a good book or a shopping and Hot Chocolate trip. Take some time to love you first. To realise that to be the ‘best’ wife, mother, friend, you need to show up as the best version of yourself first. Not the tired old haggard grumpy you.

When you relax, ‘happy chemicals’ are released into your body that improve your mood. This reduces the stress and tension you feel and your ability to ‘cope’ with day to day stuff is improved. As a result, you wont get so annoyed with your kids toys or your husband’s smelly socks left all over the place! Which means you’ll actually be a nicer person to be around and you’ll start to have more fun again. Wouldn’t that be nice?!

So start to fit some ‘self care’ into your schedule. This does not have to be 3 hour long shopping trips every week. There are small steps you can take to start making self care habitual for you. 

Things such as:

  • A 30 minute bath once a week, light some candles and play some music that relaxes you.
  • Buy a slightly more ‘luxurious’ shower cream and use it a couple of times a week in place of your ‘regular’ one. Really breath in the smell, notice how it feels on your skin, imagine if you’re at the Spa if you like! Just start to pamper yourself.
  • Buy a ‘fancy’ coffee/hot chocolate brand and at least once a week when you can get some alone time, sit down with a magazine, your favourite TV Show or Movie and enjoy the treat. Take the time to really taste and enjoy it. Yes, even it means the dishes don’t get done until later in the evening that day!
  • Go to bed at 8pm one evening. Put on some music, smooth on some body cream, paint your nails and settle down with a good book before. This will actually help you to sleep better too which will keep your ‘good mood’ going long into the following day.

Finally, if nothing else, spend literally 3 minutes every day (Yes, you HAVE 3 minutes I promise you!) looking in the mirror and loving on yourself a little bit. Tell yourself you’re beautiful inside and out (because you are), name three things about yourself you’re grateful for and finish by saying ‘I deserve self love and rest’. When you get into the habit of doing this every day you’re retraining your brain (after years of putting yourself last) that you now realise how important it is to take some time for you. That to show up as the best version of you means you can be the best version for others too. You’ll start believing it too and you’ll find more opportunities arising for you to actually rest and relax (yes that’s how it works. What you focus on you attract into your life).

I’d love to hear just how you’re going to ‘Love Yourself First’ this month so comment and let me know!

Much Love (I’m now off for a bath!)


P.S I've teamed up with 'OfCourse' the Online Course Provider throughout February as part of my 'Love Yourself First' Blog and have been able to snag 80% off their 'Learn To Love Yourself' 3 Course Bundle, usually priced at £193 but available HERE for just £39! (Click the link then type in 'Learn to Love Yourself' into the search box). Limited time and numbers available! (Other Courses also available)

Leave a Comment:

Emma says February 9, 2018

This is a fantastic blog post! I am so guilty of being grumpy because I don’t get enough me time, and blame it on having too much to do! Thanks so much. I’ll share this on my social media 🙂 Emma x

Gemma James says February 9, 2018

Thanks Emma! It’s natural for us ladies and so easy to forget or to think we don’t have time! But when we can start to take some time for us it will actually be easier to get ‘all the things’ done too! Thanks for sharing!

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